The second adolescence. That’s what I’ve hear this phase of life is called. As many women are slipping, falling and diving into the pool that is peri-menopause more and more information is arising about it. Leading the way is GenX. Asking questions, speaking up and showing out.

I’ve been reading about the journey to the big M since i was in my early 30’s. I was misinformed about my own mother’s reproductive challenges and had this fear of developing cancer and ending up in early menopause due to surgical means. I was so wrong.

Fibroids.

Yet that’s another posts

Menopause was the condition that exacerbated the tear in the relationship i had with my own mother. I recall my godmother explain to me about my mother’s mood swings yet never quite going into detail. It was a volatile time.

So in my early to mid 30’s i grew increasingly fearful the same fate would come to my relationship with my own daughter. Instead, I’ve been living this comedy of peri menopause.

It’s like when one first begins menstruation. Sometimes it comes and sometimes not. You feel some cravings and begin to have aversion to once loved foods. Sleep patterns are off and whew the mood swings. I didn’t begin to really experience these symptoms until well into my 40’s. My cycle could come and then be gone for 2-3 months.

The size B breasts grew to size C. Mind you they’d swell during “that time of the month” however now they weren’t going back to B’s. I’d sweat a little longer when i worked out and insomnia was a regular thing.

I spoke with older black women who shared their experiences which included everything from completely going vegan to eliminating spicy foods and some animal protein. All mentioned about movement. “Don’t stop exercising Find something you don’t mind doing regularly and lift some weights”

I was good until 2021 when a family member insisted that i undergo the vaccine shot for the covid virus. My entire body changed. I didn’t experience a cycle for over 3 months and even when it did come it was erratic; extremely heavy with clots resulting in multiple outfit changes in a day. One time i bled for 13 days straight. Initially the medical professionals stated the shit, the shot, had no bearing on changes in a woman’s cycle. They later retracted that.

So here we are, i may have a cycle for an hour. I still experience insomnia, racing thoughts, isolation and mood swings; luckily there are no hot flashes an occasional flush. Peri is different; she gives little to no clues about her actions or intentions. She maneuvers at her own whim.

Is that the lesson?