Checking in on you and myself, to see how we are navigating, shedding, expanding and all that other good growth we are here to do.

When I started this blog I was confused about it’s intention. I used to love to write and thought it’d be a great outlet to share the musings and adventures that i encounter. Then I decided that I’d use it to grow an audience as I embarked on the journey to become a fully licensed therapist. Well my intentions collided and I stopped posting because, I was advised to be mindful of how much I share about my personal self if I desired to be taken seriously as a psychotherapist/professional.

let me say this, when we allow, give permission and entertain the input of others when we aren’t really sure about something, we may set ourselves up for confusion. At least I did. Here I thought I KNEW what I wanted and felt okay in my spirit to share. I invited others weigh in on this venture and that KNEW turned to DOUBT. Easy. So easy that I have more posts in my drafts than I do in the actual blog. I found myself stumbling to determine what was “appropriate,” I was questioned that although the blog isn’t private, it’s also not marketed.

“what if a prospective client finds it?” And thus began the stop/start of my presence here. ‘

Of course, in the meantime life goes on and wordpress sends all these marketing emails about paying for the blog to be a website etc etc.

Subsequently as my confusion and doubt increased about what to share, my ability to write and feel decreased. Nothing seemed to fill the void that writing and sharing does for me. (and I’ve been testing out many other activities).It felt like the NOTHING from that movie (damn I can’t remember the name). Anyway. Life kept slamming me (death of a very dear friend, facing family secrets, lies and evidence of mistrust of parental units) and although I am a fully licensed psychotherapist with a handful of private clients, (success right?) I feel numb.

I went and got myself a therapist

Not a bit of shame felt, although it took me almost a year. I advised many other therapist to get one as they faced burn out and fatigue and they took my advise and are thriving. Still I toiled until I felt myself about to break. So I found someone to assist me with navigating to get outta this hole I let myself sink into. I’d love to blame it on the lock down and re-opening of outside and Im sure that’s it, however it’s more than that.

I won’t go into it here but know that I’m working to shed a layer of me that is so damn thick, dark and full of twists and turns that I am grateful for this therapist that is working with me to navigate it.

All this to say, I had to coach myself ,that in order to be the guide for others (because I’m more than a psychotherapist, i’m also a reiki master and working on some other “healing” skills as well) that I desire to be, I have to be able to navigate the really deep dark parts in myself.

So, if someone finds this blog and decides to read it. They will have a clue that I’m not a text book therapist. When I say ” I’ve been there,” most likely I actually have been and I’m damn skilled in assisting others in how to recognize, plan and execute their own process of getting through the hard transitions of living.

Vulnerability is still my damn super power.

Love you!