Many of us are still under a stay at home, quarantine-ish lifestyle during this COVID 19 pandemic. Sadly many of us are not. (those numbers are increasing with the recent protest to liberate people) It’s safe to say, that all of us are moving, thinking and feeling differently than we did a month ago.

I have a friend who admitted she thought the whole COVID 19 was a bunch of BS until, she and her husband caught it and thought they are dying. “this shit is real T.” (they are gratefully beyond the hard part at this point and recovering)

For those of us who have been fortunate not to succumb to the virus, I pose the question I read recently on an IG post.

WHAT’S HOLDING YOU TOGETHER?

The author of the IG post went on to list the things/people/situations that are holding her together and it was…beautiful. One of those blessed persons who has the full time space/opportunity to engage in the simple joys of nature, loved ones she can still physically touch and experiences in which, she now has time to actually be fully present.

I felt moved to create a list of my own and I kept being interrupted by observing what’s falling apart? Choosing not to judge and using a different perspective, I sat and observed the walls, curtains, facades and detractions I’d constructed that were melting, crumbling and smashing around me. I tired of trying to run and push them back into place, after all i’m a therapist and that’s my career and passion to unmask dysfunction to heal what’s beneath.

not to mention the whole premise of this blog is about breaking the habit of you so duhhhhh

it’s been a journey as usual and quite the adventure in discovering the unfinished projects of my own mental wellness, anecdotes I’d wanted to test out but never followed through on; scars I’d picked the scab off and let scab over again. you get the idea? yet one thing that i’m finding which you may already know (and i probably do as well in my sober emotionally available mind) that falling apart and holding together are the same.

you can’t really know one without the other.