This is the time of year that many people tend to slow down (and some speed up) to reflect upon decisions made and actions taken during the previous 11 months.  December is a month of endings. We spend time preparing for the new year’s opportunities and blessings.  Agriculturally, this time of year most of the land is barren and brown. Nothing is visibly growing. The harvesting has been done and the reflecting is done on what methods could have been produced better or more crops.

This is also the case for individuals.  We stop and assess who we’ve been. What goals did we set for ourselves back in the beginning of the year and how did we fare in achieving them? What opportunities presented themselves? How did we navigate the ups and downs of the journey when things didn’t go quite as planned?  How often did we have to modify our goal and why?

These and many more are the questions we may have begun to ask ourselves as this final month of the year began.  I assure you there will arise many more. We may begin the year with relationships yet not finish with them.  This goes for the relationship we have with ourself.

In the beginning we are excited, full of energy and enthusiasm tackling the goals as we’ve strategized.  We hit may hit a few snags however we push onward. Then some where in the journey you may encounter a few situations:

1. You reach your goal early and didn’t plan for the “after I achieve this…”
2. Your goal looks like it will require more than you budgeted (time, money, energy etc)
3. You lose focus (distracted by something or someone that you encounter along the way)
4. You get overwhelmed as you are met with the lessons life presents while pursuing your goal
5. You lose interest in the goal

All of these are real and I’m sure you can add many more.

Personally, I hit a number of these. My son’s life lessons consumed my space. My strategy to acquire my goal was met with closed doors and disappearing opportunities. I began to question and doubt myself of being adequately equipped to meet my goal.  Around me others seemed to be blowing and going yet I felt stagnate and literally as though I was being held in place. No matter how I tried to move I was met with closed doors and silence.

I backed down and tried to reshape my goal into something else. Not what I really wanted but perhaps settling for what I may be better at doing. More practical than what I was trying to achieve.  NOPE.

I sat in pity, doubt, confusion and all the while I had people in my support network encouraging me not to give up, keep moving forward.

“Moving forward is such a challenge when you aren’t always sure what direction you are facing.”

It’s really easy to lose our focus when our intentions and plans go awry.  We want to move forward but we may find ourself questioning if we are attempting to force a situation that isn’t mean to occur.  Is it timing? Did we miss a step? Or did we simply select a goal that wasn’t in the plans for us?  It can be a daunting time however it’s these moments when we are questioning that are most important.  It’s in these interrogation episodes that we peel back layers and reassess why we chose the particular goal.  In questioning we expose something about ourself to ourself. What?

IONO… you tell me what you found.

What we thought it was supposed to look like may be something totally different or it may be similar in purpose and outcome yet different in appearance.  Can we accept that? or do we stubbornly push through to achieve the initial goal no matter what?

With some goals, yes we will push through and beyond whatever to achieve it and others, we may revamp/modify and regroup our resources and then move forward.  IN some cases, we may end up aborting the entire goal and choosing something completely different.

Whatever is decided. It’s part of the process of becoming a better and different you.

So stop and take the time to reflect on what you wanted to achieve back in January (or at some other point in the year) and assess how you fared with it.  What were your lessons learned about yourself and the life you’re living? What happened?

Is that goal worth keeping on the table; does it need to be modified? or will it be aborted and something else pursued in it’s place?

Failing is only a bad experience when you don’t get up and do something different with the information learned.

Trust the process of you.