I’ve been perusing through other blogs. I’ve been on Medium, Tumblr and random websites reading and searching.  Searching for answers, quick fixes and motivation.  I found a lot…and…well, nothing. Nothing new at least

It’s always interesting the process of change.  We get all fired up to start something new and different. It could be weight loss, career change, life philosophy or even overall wellness, anything that we believe will shift us into a more satisfying existence.  We sign up for a gym or exercise classes, we clean out the fridge and cabinets of bad foods, we research updating our resume or hire a life/career coach and we are dedicated.  New planners and calendars, changing our schedule and creating new routines (or finally creating a routine). Then we determine a start date and GOOooooo.

We are good for the first few days, maybe even the first few weeks.  We see some results and feel amazing.  We share it with our friends and encourage them to try it.  We meet new people who are doing what we are doing (because sometimes the “regulars” in our our lives aren’t as willing or needing to change…it’s okay) Our clothes begin to fit different and looser. We try new fashion styles. We try out new eateries; spending time in the kitchen meal prepping and organizing our fridge and pantries.  Suddenly we are are on our kindles or purchasing new books.  It’s all so wonderful.  We are identifying toxic relationships and creating boundaries. Perhaps we are trying new types of relationships (poly, bi, monogamy, nonmonogamy, dating or even being single!) and shit is just GOOD. ya know?

Then…

Life happens.  Something causes us to get distracted. We experience a schedule change at work that causes hiccups in our workouts. We try to adjust, yet gradually we are doing less and less. We compensate by eating less or promising to get an extra workout in at another time. But our social life picked up so we have these happy hours, day parties and events to attend. Hmmm, now we need new outfits and spending more money than before.   Books that we were so voraciously reading are now sitting on the tables, bedsides or even in our totes/backpacks unfinished.  I mean really who needs to finish them, we got the gist of what it was saying…right?  The new people in our lives are great but we don’t really have history with them and we are noticing little things about them that we kinda don’t care to experience. Our conversations aren’t as stimulating. They are more repetitious and well…boring.  I mean who really wants to do every damn yoga class or ride a million miles a week on the damn bike?  Do we have to drink and be at every happy hour/day party event to see the same damn faces?  Why are we always seeming to talk about the same things and everyone seems to be doing the same damn thing…URGH…

We suddenly miss the days we lounged in bed and binged on bad tv shows. That cute guy or girl is not as wonderful as they were a month ago.  They really don’t “get us,” after all the dust has settled. We find ourselves contacting old flames that we KNOW were no good for us but damn we kinda miss ’em ya know?   And FUCKKKKKKK…all this self help bullshit sounds the same so why did we buy all this shit?  Does it really work or was it just something new? Looking at self in the mirror, are we being an individual or a follower with what’s “in?”

And it begins.

We are cancelling plans, not showing up at events like we used to do. We are hitting the snooze button and the freezer now has a gallon of bluebell ice cream in it. The juicer hasn’t been used in a week and those frozen fruits we were making smoothies with are freezer burned.  The body is still on “summer time fine,” but the clothes are fitting a bit tighter.  Work sucks.  Nothing feels good anymore and everyone else seems so damn happy (on social media) and we aren’t…really.

And we stop.  We stop the progress, we stop the forward movement. The affirmations and sticky notes aren’t affirming. We hate kale and fried foods smell so good.  Yoga isn’t at a convenient time and your ass hurts from the bike seats.  We want something meaningful but everyone is doing the free and single thing.  Nobody really has dialogue and conversation anymore.  Working out at the gym feels good but the workout routines are boring and repetitive making you not want to go.

Plateaus aren’t fun.  But no routine is after awhile.  NO gimmick works forever and no book’s philosophy last a lifetime. If it did we’d all have one book and ditch all the others.  Life changes and we do as well. As much as we scream and whine about not wanting to ride an emotional/mental rollercoaster, it’s part of life. We expand and contract. We ebb and flow.  We have to in order to grow.  Nothing is supposed to work forever. Our bodies can’t digest the same meals we ate at age 10 or even 20 years old.  Our interests change and our desires do as well. It’s a rarity to stay at the same job let alone have one job anymore.  There will always be 5 top ways to do this or 10 reasons to let go of that or even 3 solid ways to never get this disease or disorder. However…there are also a million plus other things in this life to acquire, experience and contract (hopefully not fatal), that you will undoubtedly encounter while becoming you.

Breaking the habit of you, of us, is a continuous cycle that last as long as we decide to breathe air.  Some advice will be fundamentally beneficial forever and some is just fad and trending.  It’s okay to try different philosophies, tools and even fads in order to learn about yourself.  Just be gentle with you.  You are the ONLY entity that is constant in all of this.

As long as the sun rises and sets there will always be a newer version of you waiting to be discovered, that is better than the old one.