Some people just have it. Like all the damn time. Unshakeable confidence. Well they appear as if they do.  The rest of us, look through old photos, journals or put on that mask and fake the shit outta having it.

Recently, I had a conversation with my son. He’s 29 and has had a string of bad experiences.  His confidence comes and goes depending on how the situation is treating him.  We’ve all had that right?  He’d gotten what appeared as screwed over, at a job and had slipped into victim mode.  Just giving up. “Here we go again, I never can catch a break blah blah blah…”  you know how that script goes right?

ARRETE!!!  that means stop in French (yes I speak a little bit, much better with wine)

For the next 30 minutes I was yelling and waving my arms in the air, spouting proof that he is an articulate, intelligent MAN (he looks 18 at best) who needs to stop cowering down and letting folks walk over him and handle his shit.

I told him that he’s a walking CEO, manager AND employee and he needed to go represent himself as such.  HANDLE YO SHIT. YOU GOT THIS.

How often do we need a personal cheerleader? Someone to remind us that we are more than the suck ass emotions we may be experiencing in the face of conflict or disappointment.  When the right words and phrases coming from your  own voice aren’t enough for your ears and mind to be convinced. You know those times when following your self pep talk, you respond… “PUHLLezzzze go have several seats, I ain’t buying what you saying” or simply, “This isn’t working, I’m not convinced”

For some it’s a best friend. Others it’s a spouse, significant other, clergy person, parent, sibling etc. You get my point.  For many that still isn’t enough.  So we buy books and enter therapy or even hire a career or life coach ( yes I do coaching! shameless plug)

Someone to push us over that dark spot. We need to be shown sometimes by someone who has an objective interest in our well being.  We tend to respond to family and friends with  “You’re just saying that because you_______________________ (fill in the blank)”  Yet NO one, not even coaches and therapist are effective if you don’t allow them to be.

At some point you have to conjure up the cheerleader that lives within. He/She is there. They’ve been waving and screaming at you but you don’t always listen to them. Give them permission to be heard please.

They know where that pot of gold called Confidence is located within you. They always have your back and NEVER leave you. Because the optimal goal is to draw on that internal, endless supply of strength, focus and confidence, rather than play seek and find with sources outside of yourself.